2006-02-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

The Great American BlogSo that story, the one about Ronnie, that’s true. It happened when I was about eleven years old or so. At least, that’s when I think it happened. I don’t remember the exact year and I don’t really remember a lot about the kid. I remember his name was Ronnie, but I don’t remember his last name or the name of his dad. I looked around on the internet to see if I could find anything that talked about what happened, but I couldn't. I suppose that's understandable, seeing as how it happened around 1982 or 1983. I’m pretty sure Ronnie was the kid with the hand grenade, but I could be off on that as well. It happened a long time ago and really didn’t leave that much of an impression on me for some reason - today, I find that strange. But, like I said, I didn’t know him all that well and rarely saw his dad. His dad always seemed like kind of an asshole, though. Ronnie, however, seemed like a pretty okay kid. I just sort of remembered it and thought I’d like to try and write about it. At the time, I did't have a lot of other ideas rolling around up in my head. I don't really like what I came up with all that much, but I'm not very patient, so I put it out there anyway. It would proabably be a good idea for me to spend a little more time on things before putting them out there for the world to see. Someday I'll learn some patience, but for now I just don't have time. For a second, I was going to try and write the Great American Novel in an evening, but I got started and decided I’d bit off more than I could chew. So, I decided the GAN will have to wait. Here’s how far I got:I’m gonna tell a story. I’m not much of a storyteller and to be honest, I don’t even know if it’s really worth telling in the first place. But, I’ve got time and I feel like talking, so I’ll go ahead. You read along if you feel like it and if you get bored, don’t feel obligated to stick around – I’ll understand. Anyway, here goes…this is chapter one. It’s funny, if I was to try and write the great American novel, I’d probably start it that way, with the whole, “this is chapter one” line. I just made it up, but I think it’d be a good lead in to whatever I could figure out to say next. Now, if I could only come up with the rest of the story I’d be all set. I’ve got the lead in, and I’m sure I could come up with a final line if I set my mind to it, it’s just the few hundred pages worth of material in the middle I’d be missing. I suppose I could start by talking about my parents and my birth and how I grew up and the kinds of things I did when I was little, but I don’t really remember much of the stuff I should include in chapter one, so I can’t tell you much about it. I don’t remember being born, I can’t recall my first thoughts, have no recollection of what my first words were and so on. They all happened to me, and I’m sure I was there, but at the time, my extremely shallow communication/reasoning skills made recording memories sort of an uphill battle. A battle I was not yet prepared to fight. If I had to take a guess, I’d suppose the earliest years of my existence could probably be summed up in these simple words: “goo” and “gah.” I think I remember a rattle of some sort, but that could be the dog’s chew toy from when I was five. I’m not sure, but it’s possible.So chapter one has the potential to be fairly short. In fact, as it stands, chapter one can be summed up in the two words above, and unless the type size gets ridiculously large, those two words won’t be commanding a whole lot of real estate.And that’s as far as I got before I decided, “Fuck this, the GAN would probably take a hell of a long time to write and I don’t have that sort of dedication, attention span or talent.” I’ll keep thinking about it, though. Plus, if I wrote the GAN and published it on GAS it would be too many G’s and A’s and it would just sort of drive me insane after a while. Not to mention the fact that chapter one would have been two words and I was sort of drawing a blank for the rest. I’m an idea man, and I prefer the idea to the actual execution. The idea of writing the GAN really got me jazzed, while the execution part sort of gave me the red ass and made me think this: “Oh.” So, for now, I’ll stick with the Great American Blog. I just came up with that, if you’re still reading. I was going to end with, “Oh” but then I thought of the whole Great American Blog thing… which made me think this: “Oh.”

hi

2006-02-10T02:06:00.000-08:00

hi..........

imoism

hi